The Backwash

Too many parents are idiots.  Their VCR’s (yes… they still have VCR’s) still flash 12:00.  They let their kids hear them say things like “I don’t even know how to turn on the computer.”

I considered it a small victory a few weeks back when one of my child’s friends asked me to be their friend on Facebook.  No, I’m not in that “I want to be the cool parent” mode – but it’s all about dialogue.  Having dialogue with their friends in ways they understand gives you insight. 

See, I may be called a troll, but I don’t let my child have a facebook page – at least not yet.  I let them visit friends through mine.  Crazy, I know, but put on your child predator hat for a few minutes, browse a few FB pages, and you will see why so many get pulled into situations that cause harm.

So, if you are a parent that is generally uninformed, here are things you need to understand:

• Remember, you are the parent.  Freedom of the press applies to those who own one.  Freedom of speech is nice once you are of a legal age to enjoy that freedom.  Too many parents get shrouded in the darkness of “my kid needs their privacy.”  Yes, they do, to a point.  Unfortunately, too much privacy without direction historically causes problems.  The challenge is that too many parents are lazy and like the fact that their kid can entertain themselves.  Don’t let your child use a lame argument to push you to allow them all-access to the Internet – unless you just don’t care.  In that case, don’t be surprised at what they get into.
• DON’T under any circumstances put a computer in your child’s room.  Computers should be as accessible as a bathroom (and all of us parents know that those are no longer sacred once our kids start walking).  This is for your protection as well as theirs.  Considering some of the problems with male adults and porn addiction, it’s good for us dads not to be tempted when we are silo’d in a room by ourselves with a computer.  A family computer should be just that – and out in the open.
• Check-out your kids screen names.  A new “privacy friendly” wave that is going on right now is to use first and middle name.  So, (and this is not a real name), BrittanyElizabeth is far better than BrittanySmith – especially if one identifies their hometown. 
• Watch-out for screen names that invite predators – such as ParEntZhaTeMe, or LoOkiNg4Fun, or LuVhunGry.  These are actual names I have seen that can cause trollers to stop and give a second look.
• Pictures posted online are fun.  Just be careful of how much identifiable information is in the background.  I can’t tell you how many pics I have seen of friends in front of their house with the house number emblazoned behind them and a street sign in the background – and their home page lists their home town.  With enough time, they can be found.

THE INTERNET IS NOT BAD!!  I personally think it is a gift from God – not an idea from the devil for porn distribution.  But, like every good and perfect gift, misuse can cause problems.  We all need to be involved in our kids’ lives enough that we can help them identify potential problems they are just not accustomed to seeing and dealing with yet. 

-MH

I am blessed to see two sides of professional life – management with a corporation and teaching undergraduate college students part-time.  In my professional life, especially, I am seeing that there is an epidemic of standard-lowering going on right now.  I see it also in academia.  For example, I have seen parents fighting battles with teachers because their child dind’t get an “A.”  Nevermind that their slug of a kid didn’t put out any effort to earn the grade…. many of these out-of-it parents seem to think it is the teacher’s fault.  “That’s too much work;” or my favorite…”That’s worth too many points.” 

In college (certainly not where I teach), it comes in the form of “will you curve the test?”  (Too many of those who ask that question don’t realize that a true curve of normal distribution would result in the majority of the class receiving a “C.”  What they mean is that they want their grade bumped-up in the form of a Poisson distribution to the right).  And, yes, there are even those cases when some unwitting soul asks for individual extra credit – translated “I can’t survive doing the required work, so is there something else that you will grade based on effort alone so I can bump up my grade?” 

What these parental idiots don’t realize is that managers like myself are not going to lower the standards when their kids actually work for us.  Such performance is the basis of performance plans nationwide, and too often the result of terminations that cost a lot of companies real $$.  We are already seeing the impact of the generation whose parents cheered for them on the t-ball field just for showing up.  We have raised a whole generation who is now entering the work force with the idea that effort alone should justify merit.  Too bad raises are not based on attendance. 

The reality is that business is still based around meeting objectives successfully.  These uninformed souls were taught something dramatically different as their parents cheered with a raucaus “Good try!!” or “Great cut!” on strike three.  There has got to be a way to strike a balance – to encourage participation and instill a drive toward excellence without crushing the spirit. 

So, here’s to all those mis-guided parents who are vibrantly teaching that a life of mediocrity is something to be cheered.  I look forward to my tax dollars supporting your child in the unemployment line soon.

-MH

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Payback.  Justice.  Vindication.  For thousands of years he waited and planned.  He watched like a lion waits patiently for it’s prey.  He knew his chance would come.  He knew he would have the opportunity for payback.  Sweet revenge.  In Matthew 4, over the course of 40 days, he gave it his best shot… and came up empty.

Satan had to be looking at Jesus’ time on earth as his chance to completely unravel the tapestry of God’s plan.  If he could get Jesus to sin… just ONCE, he would be able to nullify the only hope to save mankind.  He had millennia to plan for it, and over 30 years to make it happen, but he still failed.

Reams of paper have been written about the temptations of Jesus.  We can dissect them to show how the three temptations recorded in this passage attack three dimensions of humanity.  His temptation of stones to bread address humans inherent need for basic necessity items – something we have seen people willing to kill for in years past.  His temptation of Jesus throwing himself off the highest point of the temple addresses our human desire to be “all powerful;” and his temptation of giving Jesus everything available in all the greatest cities of the world addresses our human hunger for popularity and greed.  These three areas pretty much hit home with all of us, huh?

The not-so-obvious of the temptations of Christ is that Jesus went into that situation for the sole purpose of being tempted.  The scriptures lead us to believe that he was led by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted, and had to wait 40 days to even get the first temptation.  How many of us would have even had the patience to wait for the testing?  This one example emphasizes the fact that satan does not often attack when we are at a high point in our lives.  It is not often when we are tempted at a gospel meeting, VBS, bible class or spiritual retreat.  No, he’s way too crafty for that.  He lets real life seep in.  He waits.  He plots.  He looks for a point that could lead to a low point.  He waits for fatigue to set-in.  That was his plan with Jesus.  “Let him wait for the testing for 40 days.”  “Let his spirit grow weak.”

It is during these times that we must rely on a power far greater than ourselves.  As temptation enters our life, look at the “environmentals” about you.  What is going on?  How long has it been since your last period of meditation, prayer or even study?  How long has it been that the devil feels you are weak enough to be tempted?

The great truth in Matthew 4 is that Jesus obliterated satan’s attempts for him to sin.  What frustration satan must have felt!  His best chance to blow God’s plan for humanity in millennia and he failed because Jesus relied on the power of God… just like we can.

And, don’t forget that satan takes that frustration out on all of us every day.  He failed in the wilderness, he failed in Gethsemanie, and so he is now on a mission to take as many of us down with him as possible.  Isn’t it comforting that we can defeat satan the very same way Jesus did that day in the wilderness?

-MH

New England White by Stephen L. Carter.  This, his second book, was better than the first.  Overall, a recommended read – but don’t expect a purely defined zenith of the book.  When you think all things are coming together as a literary climax, there are still 70-pages left and you wonder how much cleanup has to be done.  All in all, a great read.  I’ll read more of his books when they are written!

Just started The Genesis Code by Christopher Forrest.

 -MH

I returned earlier today from Philadelphia.  Some thougts:

• PHL International Airport is a hole – a very gray vestige that includes poor layout, poor thought and poor design.  the airline clubs are OUTSIDE security??? Gimme a break.  Also – eat before you fly in or out.  Other than a kiosk in terminal B called “Salad Works;” or as I call it “e-Coli Cafe,” there is not much of note outside of candy.
• I was reminded of how interesting it is to people watch on planes.  Some subgroups:
• “Oversizers” – need I say more?  Get the seat belt extenders.  Aren’t we all guilty of seeing one of these poor souls coming down the aisle and hoping against all hopes that their boarding pass does not contain the seat next to you?  We all want to avoid what I call “spillover effect.”  Spillover effect occurs when an Oversizer sits next to you, and you have to sit for the entire flight at a lean just to not have portions of said person laying on your arm.
• “Seat-Tuggers” – Those who climb into their seat while pulling on the seat in front of them.  If you have ever been the subject of “surprise recline,” you know what I mean.
• “Tossers” – These individuals choose to toss their carry-on, newspaper, binder, etc. into their seat the moment they spot it – even if they toss it over your head.  It is much like a dog marking their territory.
• “I can’t do simple math-ers” – These poor souls simply do not understand the numbering system.  I witnessed it again today.  (Passenger) – “Sir, I think that’s my seat.”  (ICDSM-er) – “But I’m in 18C!”  (Passenger) – Yes sir, but this is 14C.”
• “First Class I’m not looking at the coach passengers as they board-ers” – It is a bit awkward.  I am occasionally able to get the upgrade.  While boarding the plane first is nice, it can be uncomfortable for all the coach passengers to file by.  So, this group tends to do what we do with inner city folks or any other group that we have discomfort around - they act like they’re not there.  “What?  Another 110 people boarded the plane?  I didn’t notice!”
• “Hip-Shoulder bumpers” – It doesn’t matter how hard you try to stay out of the aisle – these people will plow over you with their hips, bags, elbows, etc. as they board.  Worst case scenario – the rear-in-the-face while I stow my carryon in the overhead bin move.
• “Quick Exiters” – These goobers simply do not understand flight etiquitte.  The seat belt light goes off and these idiots actually think they can hurry up the aisle and get out of the plane before aisle congestion. 

Oh – how I love travel!

-MH

Remember Mikey?  The kid who “liked” Life cereal?  I still remember the phrase “He likes it! He likes it!”  Why do things stick in our head?  Breakfast cereal seems to be a product that can create memorable commercials.  Toucan Sam.  Dig ‘em (who originally graced the box of Sugar Smaks – but now in our politically correct hug-a-tree carry a dog poop bag when you walk your dog world they are just known as “Smacks”).

As I age, I gauge seasons of life by cereal introduction and removal.  I remember when Boo Berry first came out, and I remember when I stopped seeing Quisp on the shelves.  I remember when Corn Pops were Kelloggs Sugar Corn Pops (and they came in a foil bag).  I remember when Lucky charms didn’t have blue diamonds.  And can I get a hallelujah for those who remember the individual cereal boxes that had the perforations on the box so one could open it and try to use it as a bowl?

It is interesting how things stick in our head.  They are familiar, and familiarity is comfort.  Maybe this is why I find people clinging to irrational church ideas, or even myself having to hurdle teachings that were so far off-base the teacher had to hope we never studied the subject on our own.

One that sticks in my head… I recall a teacher telling me that “we shouldn’t do two acts of corporate worship at one time.”  Pardon my bias, but what a stupid, bone-headed, back-woods, pork rind eatin’, odd-ball non-bible-readin’ way of looking at things.  As I grew, I learned from reading the bible that this is not just a concept born of ignorance – it’s not even addressed in scripture.  As I have aged and become more mellow (my words above were mellow…. Right?), I realize this statement was nothing more than a way for that person to reinforce what feels comfortable – even if it is off-base.

Oh, there are many examples.  When it comes down to it, though, we as humans have a tendency to:

·         Remember with fondness things in the past

·         Find comfort in the way we have done things – even if they have no basis

·         As we age, take those things in which we find comfort, and start to believe they are not “a” way to do things but “the” way to do things.

·         Feel terribly uncomfortable when that comfort is challenged – especially if someone tells us what we have known is wrong or unnecessary.

BUT – with age, we should come to a modicum of grace.  The trick here is to grow an understanding of why we think something is best – if it is because of how we grew up, or if it is right; and if those match-up or not. 

Where we have significant challenge is if there is no right or wrong answer.  We want binary decisions because they are easy.  Often, though, we get shades of gray.  My hope is that as I get older, the ability to distinguish non-issues from the real ones will get better. 

Here’s to cereal, the happiness of the past, and an ability to not let future thought completely throw us out of the saddle. 

AND – I still think some of the best ads ever done were Saturday morning cereal ads – just like I think that the Six Million Dollar Man was great TV!

-MH